September Thoughts, Tips and Tools
Happy September!
After so many years of school starting in September, I often think of it as another type of New Year or fresh start, a time to reassess, plan or start something new! Even if you are no longer in school it can still be a nice time to do some goal-setting, re-focus on things you may have set aside during the Summer, start a new project or simply try something new! What will you "highlight" this month?
Check out the September Thoughts, Tips and Tools below.
Hypnotherapy Healed Her Heartbreak
After a brutal breakup, life coach Hattie MacAndrews tried hypnotherapy to heal her broken heart. She wrote about it and her are some excerpts from the article.
From my experience, the worst part about a breakup is the overthinking, which might see you ruminating on certain conversations or situations, or becoming stuck in a cycle of negative thoughts. When we're ruled by our emotions, it can be difficult to tune in to the logical side of our brain. Our logic allows us to believe we will (one day!) be okay, we will feel normal again and life will move on. But without logic, feeling overwhelmed and confused takes over.
The therapist used a range of techniques to uncover limiting beliefs I held about love, relationships and myself.
She gave me space to say all the things I needed to say, without fear of judgement or any repercussions. We worked through traumatic memories, feelings of grief and residual anger.
She gave me techniques to control and manage my negative thoughts and finished the session with a series of empowering statements. This was incredibly cleansing and freeing after having so many thoughts about my breakup pent up for so long.
I immediately felt lighter after my hypnotherapy session, like a huge weight had been lifted from my shoulders.
It was in the days afterwards that I noticed the biggest difference. All the thoughts surrounding my breakup that had occupied so much of my time had either vanished or I was equipped to reframe them. My mind felt so much calmer and I felt back in control. I felt noticeably more positive and confident about myself and the future and I couldn't believe how much I had changed in such a short space of time.
For the full article go to: https://www.hellomagazine.com/healthandbeauty/health-and-fitness/491742/hypnotherapy-heartbreak-cure/
Kinesiology for Insomnia?
I came across an article recently written by Rosie Davies-Smith, who had suffered from insomnia for quite some time. She tried many things to improve her sleep. Kinesiology was one of them and one she indicated helped. This peaked my interest as a sleep specialist so I looked into it a little further and realized it terms of helping with insomnia it connects with a lot of what I do in my hypnotherapy practice.
Definition of Kinesiology:
Kinesiology seems to be a discipline with a very broad range of segments and uses and a "whole body" approach. However the most basic definition from Merriam Webster is: "The study of the principles of mechanics and anatomy in relation to human movement".
Kinesiologists have found that many things (including mental stress or fears, our diet and daily exercise) affect muscle balance and hence our energy levels, posture and the way we function and feel. Therefore it can be helpful to test for the weaker muscles and work to strengthen them.
How can it help sleep?:
Using feedback from your body, kinesiologists determine exactly what your body requires to gain equilibrium or balance. In the context of sleep, your kinesiologist will ‘ask’ your body where the imbalances are and determine which techniques will bring the body back into balance.
Kinesiology (specifically PKP) traces all imbalances in your life back to the emotional source, from childhood or just last year. By working through the source emotion, you may find great relief and eventually elimination of your worries and sources of anxiety. It’s called ‘age regression’ and it is quite effective at releasing old and sometimes life-long patterns.
Clearing sabotage programs is what kinesiologists do best. ‘Clearing’ them can be simply discovering that a hidden sabotage program exists or it could be tracing it back to a belief system that was formed many years ago. By discovering the key themes in your life and drawing your attention to them, you become in control of your behavior and with control comes choice. When you choose a better response, you can choose to stop sabotaging yourself.
What Rosie said about her experience:
Kinesiology is a holistic approach that monitors your muscles to discover imbalances in the body that could be causing issues and in my session, it was uncovered that my go-to feeling is guilt. Knowing this inspired me more time to clear my mind without feeling guilty, breaking down the emotion I am feeling, being present more, enjoying moments and generally being kind to myself.
Kinesiology didn’t fix me, but it gave me something to focus on. I can work on breaking down what could be triggering my insomnia.
Since doing this, paired with the right supplements, I have started to see a noticeable improvement in my sleep.
I found that homing in on the actual problem has massively helped me to re-evaluate my whole life. Slowing down, not taking on too much, doing yoga every day, and taking time when I want it without feeling guilty.
How Hypnotherapy may be Similar:
I believe the way that Kinesiologists are finding these "imbalances" or weaker muscles is via Muscle Testing, which is something we do at Hypnotherapy and Wellness from time to time. We also use Idiomatic Response Techniques as part of the hypnotherapy sessions when it makes sense. Age Regression and Clearing limiting beliefs or self-sabotaging behaviors are also a main staple of the practice. Hypnotherapy may also assist with identifying and/or eliminate the root emotional causes of an issue including insomnia if it is non-medical in nature.
If you struggle with insomnia you may want to discuss with a kinesiologist but definitely don't rule out hypnotherapy or a CBT-I clinician. Fortunately, at Hypnotherapy and Wellness we utilize Hypnosis, CBT-I and Mindfulness practices for better sleep and have created a 6-Week Online Course to help if you are unable to attend sessions in person!
What Size is your "Window of Tolerance"?
What is the Window of Tolerance Concept?:
A concept originally developed by Dr. Dan Siegel referring to the optimal zone of arousal for you to function in a healthy manner day-today. If you learn to successfully operate within this window, you can begin to effectively manage and cope with emotions.
When you are in your window of tolerance, you may feel pressure or stress, but it does not bother you. You will know you are in your window when you can:
• effectively cope with what is happening in the moment.
• control your impulses.
• connect with others.
• tolerate your emotions.
• self-soothe in healthy ways.
• think and feel at the same time.
• adjust your reactions to fit situations.
• learn and process new information.
If you struggle to manage the anxiety, anger, or pain brought on by everyday stressors, it is helpful to understand “the window of tolerance".
Additionally, if you have a history of trauma, it can be even more difficult to stay present and calm and you may have a very narrow window of tolerance. Daily stressors and triggers may frequently push you out of your window of tolerance. Minor stressors may cause you to get angry, numb out, or feel anxious – leading to hyper-arousal or hypo-arousal.
Your window of tolerance might close altogether when you are hungry or dehydrated, exhausted, feeling lonely or isolated, in physical pain, threatened, scared or reminded of painful memories.
To expand your window of tolerance and increase your capacity to experience emotions, you first must recognize when you are experiencing emotions outside your tolerable zone. Then you can identify how you feel and how your emotions impact your body. You can begin to manage your window of tolerance by becoming aware of how you feel and symptoms you are experiencing, being able to identify "hyper and hypo arousal" and the symptoms and behaviors that go with them, learning techniques for regulating intense emotions and using strategies to tolerate discomfort and distress.
*If you would like help with this please shoot us an email at info@hypnotherapyandwellness.com.
Secure Attachment Style
A Secure Attachment Style is the healthiest type of attachment style and offers the best hopes for a long and happy relationship. Do you think you would recognize it if you saw it? Have you ever wondered what it is like to date someone who has a Secure Attachment Style? Check out the elements of this attachment style and you may get you answer!
Elements of Secure Attachment/Secure Love Style:
1) Feel able to go to partner with any issues or problems, allowing for meaningful, productive discussions.
2) Trust partner, allowing them freedom to explore their own interests and goals.
3) Ability to have loving and honest relationships where both partners are equal.
4) Seeks solutions rather than striking out or attacking partner.
5) Capacity to reflect on own emotional states along with emotional states of partner.
6) Strong emotional connection to loved ones in one’s life.
7) Comfortable with emotional and physical closeness.
8) Comfortable with independence.
9) Able to communicate effectively.
10) Able to resolve conflicts with partners.
11) Stable relationships
12) Comfortable opening up and being vulnerable around partner.
If you don't recognize this style in your partners or yourself, don't worry it is possible to change. Finding a partner with a more secure attachment style and/or working with a therapist can definitely help to speed up the process.
Taking Control of your Impulsivity
Impulsivity isn't always bad. It's great sometimes to be spontaneous, to not have to consider every little decision logically and analytically: "Fancy coming to the beach this afternoon?" "Yeah, why not? Let's do it!"
Impulsivity can help you open up to opportunities you'd sometimes miss if you hadn't acted on impulse. Sometimes we need to trust our snap decisions and intuitions.
But if your impulse control is weak in areas that lead to long- or even mid-term bad consequences (and you know that if you're honest), then you need to be prepared before those impulses arise so you can effectively deal with them when they show up. Write down the impulses you want to control and conquer before you have them. Do that now, while the impulse to deal with your impulses lasts!
5 Strategies to strengthen your impulse Control:
1) Think about what impulses you want to control ahead of time. Make a list of those that seem to cause you the most trouble.
2) Before the impulse takes hold, think where the consequences may lead- consider the pros and cons or "play the tape forward" in your mind.
3) Don't make excuses for your impulsiveness- figure out the reasons but don't rely on excuses to make it okay to continue.
4) Be honest with yourself- resist falling into denial or over-looking the problems.
5) Step out of the impulse- practice letting the impulse come up and then switching your focus to a distraction.
Hypnotically we can really experience the reality of the consequences of impulses let loose in hypnosis to get a sense of the the downside of not controlling our impulses.
If you're struggling with cravings, close your eyes and imagine the reality later of having eaten that whole cake and feeling it lurk heavy on the floor of your stomach. If you tend to lash out at people in anger, truly imagine how you will feel later when you reflect on that hurt. This helps prevent the dopamine-laced addictive amnesia (for consequences) that occurs when we're in the grip of an impulsive drive.
We can mindfully practice strongly envisaging a particular impulse starting to envelope us, then opening our eyes, closing them again, and just as quickly engaging ourselves in some other, more wholesome focus. The more we practice this 'switching', the weaker that impulse will become.
Of course, we may need help to do this from someone skilled in this kind of approach such as a hypnotherapist. Please feel free to reach out if to Hypnotherapy and Wellness if you would like to discuss by going to the link HERE.
Online Phone Support for Mental Health
What is a warmline?
Sometimes you just need to talk to someone about your mental health. It’s great when you can reach out to a loved one—but that’s not always possible. Fortunately, warmlines are there to help!
A warmline is a phone number you call to have a conversation with someone who can provide support during hard times.
Whether you’re in crisis or just need someone to talk to, a warmline can help. Warmlines are staffed by trained peers who have been through their own mental health struggles and know what it’s like to need help.
Warmlines are free and confidential. They’re different from crisis lines or hotlines like the National Suicide & Crisis Lifeline, which are more focused on keeping you safe in the moment and getting you connected to crisis resources as quickly as possible