Helpful Thoughts for Body Image Issues
A client of mine and I were recently exploring the sadness she felt about not being as fit or toned as others she admired on Instagram or at the gym. The gym had previously been a place she enjoyed going but recently it seemed to be adding to her depression. This was not that surprising to hear. Certain environments, events or people can trigger us to feel badly about our bodies or selves for not having a “better physique”, looking more youthful or whatever other body trend might be in fashion at the moment. Even when you have done some therapeutic work in this area, it can still happen.
Here are some techniques to use to get out of that funk when it happens. They may not all work for you but hopefully a few will resonate with you.
Go to gratitude- specifically gratitude for what your body does for you. For example, I am grateful to have a healthy body that rarely gets sick. I remind myself that I rarely have to deal with major illness or even the flu. It is so easy to forget how bad you can feel when you are sick once you’ve come out of it, so I remind myself of that. I am grateful I have two working legs that can get me where I want to go- I can walk easily. I can even run if I want to. I can bike or play volleyball or hike. I am grateful for my two arms that can embrace my boyfriend, friends and loved ones to share a loving moment with them or give them support. My strong arms may not be the most graceful or shapely, but they can pick up my pet when he is in danger or swing my niece around to make her laugh. I am grateful that my body can get stuff done around the house. That I can clean and cook, garden do yardwork or paint the house if I need to.
Do a reality check- For example, I remind myself that of the millions of people in the world many never even make it to my age. In fact, the majority won’t. In addition, there are many who are seriously overweight or even dangerously obese. Even though you may not be in the very small top percent of health, fitness or perceived beauty, there are many others who you may be so-very-lucky to be healthier than. Because we are so focused on the Images we see on Instagram or those we are presented with in film, tv or advertising, we forget that they are not representative of the majority of the population. In fact, they mostly likely represent less than 1%. See the bigger picture by widening your lens, especially since depression tends to narrow our focus.
Understand that our brains are hardwired to look for problems. That is how our species has survived. Even those who, to you, look more fit, beautiful or tone, probably have days where they feel the same way you do, where they are comparing themselves to someone else or putting themselves down. So being “that” person or having “that” body wouldn’t necessarily change anything for you in this area. You need to allow the positives in and train your brain to look for the successes not just the flaws or problems.
Take a break from social media. Comparing leads to despairing- take a break from it all…Remind yourself that people posting on social media are usually showing their best angles, using filters and/or presenting the best moments of their lives not all the moments, not all the angles or the pics that don’t look too appealing.
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and what may not appeal to one person could totally appeal to another. In addition, our uniqueness and quirks are what make us familiar to our friends and loved ones. They are special to us and for that reason people that care about us appreciate them and enjoy them…perhaps more than we realize.
Keep a list of things people have complimented you for and refer to it often, especially if you are feeling less than. For example, your smile, ability to make others feel comfortable or welcome, your calming energy, your sense of style, your insight or perspective on a particular topic, the way you’ve done your hair that day or the way a color makes your eyes pop.
If you desire to improve in some area of your physique or appearance, look for a plan of action that has worked for others. Find someone who is maybe just 6 months or a year ahead of you in terms of goals as opposed to someone who may be years or eons ahead you. Ask what they are doing or read about it.
Brace yourself from the self-sabotaging voice that says “just keep eating you deserve a reward” or “you might as well give up, you’ll never feel good enough or be beautiful enough”. Connect with a heathier alternative voice or part of yourself that gives more supportive statements such as “you do deserve a reward you have worked hard but if you keep eating you will feel badly later” or “You are absolutely enough just as you are and you deserve to believe that!”.
Find acceptance in this area of your life. Acceptance doesn’t mean giving up or that we don’t want to improve it just means understanding where you are and allowing it. Remember- we are all going to age. Our looks will change with the aging process it is part of life and it is human! We must come to terms with this or we will never be happy and will continue to waste so much energy on something that is out of our control instead of living life and enjoying the moments that we are living through. Accept as acceptance is a higher vibration than resisting!
If needed, Hypnotherapy can be a great way to connect with a more nurturing and compassionate part of yourself, one that doesn’t buy into the self-sabotaging voice or all the negative inner critical dialogue. Hypnotherapy can help you re-program your subconscious mind to let in your successes and reinforce new and healthier ways of thinking.