Sharing space with a significant other is all about tolerance and compromise, but what happens when you start to actually lose sleep over it? Getting adequate sleep is tricky enough as it is, and when you add another person to the mix, sleeping through the night can be downright daunting especially if your partner has sleep apnea, talks in their sleep, or stays on their phone for hours.

Common Issues and Remedies for You and Your Significant Other

Luckily, there are certainly ways to ensure that both parties wake up well rested and at peace. Here are some common  issues and how to remedy them:

  1. Their snoring keeps waking you up
    • Consider sleeping with ear-plugs or having white noise in the room
    • Notice if the snoring is related to alcohol consumption or nasal congestion and then tackle the root cause
    • Notice the sleeping position your partner is in when they snore. Do they snore on their back? Maybe they could try sleeping on their side. 
  2. They keep shifting to your side of the bed
    • It might be time to consider investing in a bigger mattress so that you both have more room to stretch and spread out. Memory foam is great for restricting movement. 
    • Do you let your cat or dog sleep with you? Your furry friend might be better off beside the bed instead of on it to give you more space. 
    • Make a pillow barrier – try a long body pillow!
  3. They like it hot and you like it cold
    • Sleep with two blankets so that you can shed a layer or add a layer as needed.
    • It’s easier to sleep too cold than too hot – if you like to sleep warm, try sleeping with socks on and warmer pajamas. 
    • Look into pillows and bedding that have cooling effects.
    • Research shows that the ideal sleeping temperature is 65 degrees, so perhaps that could be the sweet spot. 
  4. They stay up later using electronics
    • Commit to a winding down routine together. For example, an hour before bed, decide on what you want to finish before lights out. Alternatively consider asking your significant other to use electronics (ipads, laptops, cell phones) outside the bedroom only.
  5. You have different schedules – early bird vs. night owl
    • Stagger your sleeping times so that by the time the night owl gets in bed, the early bird is already in a deep slumber that will be hard for them to wake up from.
    • Try meeting in the middle – what would be a good time for both of you to go to sleep and feel satisfied? 
    • Snuggle with your significant other until they fall asleep if you are the night owl. Then get out of bed and do your thing until you feel sleepy or it’s your “lights out time” and then get back in bed. 
    • Consider sleeping separately. Don’t worry about the notion that it could hurt your partnership. If it works for you, it works! 
  6. They have sleep apnea, Nightmares or Restless Legs Syndrome (RLS)
    • A CPAP machine could be the ticket since it keeps the airways open – it also prevents snoring. 
    • Have them try a different sleeping position that will promote optimal breathing.
    • Talk to your physician about medication for nightmares and RLS

Working your way through sleep issues with your partner will require compassion and communication, and there is always a way through! Finally, hypnotherapy and CBT-I are perhaps the most effective forms of tackling sleep issues because the techniques tackle the subconscious mind which leads to our behavioral patterns. CBT-I is 75-80% effective clinically, reducing sleepless nights by 50%. It is considered the preferred line of defense for insomnia and more effective than sleep medication. CBT is 70% more effective when combined with Hypnosis.

If you or your partner are struggling with sleep to no avail, check out my course ‘Six Weeks to Better Sleep’!